Is there a h-APP-iness for that?

Today's Word is Happiness

“By engaging in a delusive quest for happiness, we bring only suffering upon ourselves. In our frantic search for something to quench our thirst, we overlook the water all around us and drive ourselves into exile from our own lives.” - Sharon Salzberg

As Wayne Dyer has said, “Happiness is something that you are and it comes from the way you think.” It is not a destination but the manner by which you travel. I have always believed it is a state of mind and describes the myriad of emotions people feel when there is the absence of strife, such as joy, excitement, passion, enthusiasm and on and on. It is marketed to you, packaged and force fed through images of things indicating greater or lesser versions of so called success. This leaves many people confused about what true happiness is. When you tie your happiness to the future and to future external events, items or other people, peace, tranquility and ultimately happiness will forever elude you. It is like chasing the horizon, once you arrive at where you are going, the target has moved. Place the target internally and learn to connect to your strengths and your values on a daily basis by mastering self-nurturing, self-expression and gratitude.

If happiness was available only when you have attained a goal or reached success as externally defined by you, then you would feel instantly happy. In my experience happiness is often confused with pleasure or gratification. Pleasure is something we feel from an external stimulus, eating ice cream or driving a great car. Happiness on the other hand is a belief system. It is born of the knowledge and wisdom that comes from recognizing your worth, valuing your contributions and understanding and managing the workings of your mind; tangible qualities available that you can open and connect to anytime, regardless of your external circumstances. I have met people, who by my yard stick should have been miserable. They are experiencing challenging life circumstances or difficult health issues but their internal dialogue spoke of the richness and totality of their life experience. They have moments of unhappiness, but they are not unhappy. It is about connecting to your internal world and it can be fostered. Happiness is a choice and comes from a deliberate action to see yourself and your world in a specific way.

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.” - Groucho Marx

Could you choose happiness now? Yes! This is not to say you should live in denial or suppress your emotions - we have already talked about the downside to that. You may have very real challenges and problems, health concerns and issues that you need to resolve or deal with. Can you be happy and challenged at the same time? I think so. You can know that the present moment is less than ideal, but still choose a happier state of mind, embracing the difficulties as a wise 90 year old that has weathered many storms - life is always in flux and this too shall pass.

When you find internal gratification you demonstrate wisdom and balance and a calm state of mind returns. It is in the seeking and the reaching and the pacifying that happiness continues to elude us.

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.” - Denis Waitley

Today Ask Yourself:

1. What is happiness to me?
2. Am I delaying my happiness?
3. What thoughts and beliefs do I have about myself, the world and happiness?
4. What could I chose to “feel” happy about right now?

If you are interested in orientating your life around your values and strengths in order to cultivate internal happiness, I would love to help. Please contact me today by visiting my website and requesting your free complimentary session.