Without Fail...

MYTH#7: IF I FAIL, I AM A FAILURE

“I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” - Michael Jordan

There is not a more limiting or immobilizing myth than that of being a failure. Having tried and fallen short, you may feel frustrated by the lack of results or the less than stellar outcome, you have become a failure; doomed to fail. If you are living in the house of failure, I strongly urge you to get out while you can. Failing is simply a ramped-up opportunity; an opportunity ripe with information and with a little, honest kindness and sometimes humor, it can be the difference between mediocrity and meaningfulness. It is when you personalize the experience, attaching who you are, with what you did or did not do, that failure becomes a label rather than an experience.

“The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.” - Buddha

THE SECRET TO SUCCESS?

The idea of success must be addressed in any rumination on failure. How is success measured? Success is subjective and is often determined by money or acclaim, but success by my estimation is the ability to stay true to your values and honor your strengths, ensuring you contribute to the world in a way that embraces both. There are layers and levels and nuances, but essentially success is achieving first and foremost in your relationship with yourself. You may set certain goals and markers that you wish to reach and accomplish and you may or may not be “successful” at achieving them. But you are not a success or failure. You have utilized beliefs, thoughts and actions that either garnered you the results that you wanted or the reasons you did not get the desired outcome. What makes you successful is the fortitude to learn from the reasons and to continue to pursue those very things that allow you to impact the world in a positive way. Personalizing the external as a measurement of internal value can leave you dependent on the appreciation of others, attainment of money and other societal markers of success. If you see failing as a sign of your worth, it can limit the motivation and courage to try again, to embark on the new or to grow.

THE KEY TO SUCCESS IS FAILURE

If you determine success by money or power, than you could say that a warlord is a “success” or that Mother Theresa was a “failure.” Again and again we hear of stories of people whose “success” came to them after much rejection and failure. Although the external reward; recognition or riches was eventually attained, the real success was the ability of these individuals to hold true to their internal value and to continue to learn from the “failings.” Walt Disney, for instance, did not reach his external goals immediately. His success happened because of his ability to first be successful in his relationship with himself. His first animation company went bankrupt and he was fired by a news editor because “he lacked imagination.” There were 302 rejections before he got the financing needed to create Disney World. A single Mom, surviving on welfare, J.K Rowling did not set out to write one of the most beloved and lucrative series of all times, she wrote because it made her feel like more of herself. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was turned down by 12 publishers. In her speech to a Harvard University graduation class she said, “You might never fail on the scale I did. But it is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.”

Failing is simply success delayed in the minds and spirits of the brave and those true to their character; a precursor to external success when harnessed and squeezed for information. To truly be successful in every moment, with every option, opportunity and obstacle, requires only that you become the very best of which you are capable.

CHALLENGE THE MYTH

Begin to see failure as an experience, rather than a label, and if you are reflective and honest you will see that you would not give up the experience, despite the outcome. The specific learning, challenges and opportunities are often poignantly clear with “failing.” Missteps can serve to redirect course, align your compass and reset your true north; to keep you heading in the direction of your best self.