IT IS WHAT IT IS...

                          I INVITE YOU TO:

Practice Radical Acceptance

"Life is accepting what is and working from that.” ~ Gloria Naylor

Radical acceptance is a Buddhist term that means having willingness to recognize and accept what is, rather than fight it or judge it. It is a merciful surveying of what you feel within, as you observe your life. Gives me chills because I know the power that comes from looking at your life, square in the face and seeing it for what it is; not how it should be or what you wish would come to pass. It is embracing the here and now and responding to the present that empowers your future. Radical acceptance does not means fixing or transforming, but instead accepting who you are, scars and all, and moving from there. As you get older this can be more difficult; the abundance of youth affords you the possibility of do-overs and try-agains. But as the years speed by there may be certain things that you just are not willing to do over or cannot do over, at least not in the way you originally thought. Maybe there was a dream that you need to let go of: you were going to be an Olympian figure skater and now you’re sixty three, you wanted to be a movie star and now you are a wife and mom with three kids or maybe you wanted to be married and have a family and your husband left you. Radical acceptance may feel like stagnation or saying that all these things are okay, when they clearly do not feel okay, but is it the opposite of stagnation. Information and options spring from the moment. Messages and meaning, which are muted by living in regret, can finally be heard, understood and acted on.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

JUST GET OVER IT?!

There are some things in life that you may not get over, but radical acceptance is not getting over, ignoring or condoning. It is about embracing and handling what is. It would be like someone cutting your arm and you not accepting it; therefore you do not see it or acknowledge it. In your denial of what is, you ignore all options and healing that could prevent infection and maybe even save your life. You do not like the cut and will not accept it; the cut on your arm should never have happened, is unfair, not part of the plan and painful. Meanwhile you are growing weaker, infection is setting in and all of life is draining away. Just because you are not happy about it, you are angry about it or sad about it does not mean the bleeding will stop. Just because you have been hurt, does not mean you should continue to hurt yourself. You must see it, accept it and deal with it. See it for what it is and let the healing begin. Shoulda, coulda, woulda will not save your arm, make the pain go away or ultimately save your life. It is in the accepting of what is, that all is saved.

 

“Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.”

~ Zhuangzi

GET RADICAL

Radical acceptance is a practice; this means you are always learning and trying it on for size. Remove the limitations which occur when you are unable or disinclined to see your life for what it is; not only the things you want to change, but the things you are grateful for as well. Willing a different actuality creates a skewed perspective and faulty filters, blocking the path of possibility and change. So today I invite you to play with and practice the art of radical acceptance. What could you accept as is – including parts of yourself and others? What mistakes and failures could you see as they are - no justification, rumination or elimination? What could you do or change if you embraced the present moment awareness and soaked up the message and meaning without putting a spin on it? I invite you to see and feel where you live and to radically accept it.