PICK UP THE PIECES

I INVITE YOU TO:

PICK UP THE PIECES

“When it seems that someone has shattered your dreams....pick up even the smallest of pieces and use them to build bigger and better dreams.”
~ Unknown

The other day I dropped a pile of paperwork on the floor, scattered about were numerous pieces of a whole project I am working on. Slightly frustrated and hoping I could remember the general order, I began the process of picking up the pieces and re-sorting the pile. In the process I pulled out an unnecessary receipt, a magazine clipping and a yellow sticky, all with insignificant information. I also noticed an error, obvious now, but previously hidden until all was in disarray. A few minutes later order was restored, in better shape than it was originally and free from scrap material that cluttered the necessary. I am convinced that had a left it to later, I would have been fuzzy on the order, frustrated by its presence and more than likely would have created a bigger mess.

PIECE IT TOGETHER

If only we could apply the same type of, don’t cry over spilled milk, to our lives. Instead we will yell at the mess, maybe at the other participants and often deny, defend or dodge the issue. Meanwhile the pile gets scattered, the issues get waylaid and there is significant stress around the disorder. Whether it is splintered relationships, health issues, job loss or any other event, you often leave pieces behind; parts of you unattended and lying on the floor just waiting to be picked up. Tethered and beholden to past messes; the hurts and the mistakes are drug around like a ball and chain, stepped on and kicked around. The result is moving forward in life with the weight of the past holding you back and the force of your full energy and spirit stripped from your present and your future.

“…it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future."
~ Gigi in the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You

PIECE BY PIECE

So what does it mean to pick up the pieces? It means you restore and reevaluate after a trauma, a challenge or difficulty. It is not about returning things to exactly how they were. Even when I was cleaning up my mess, I rearranged and discarded. It was not necessary or appropriate for it to be exactly the same. The reason many people get stuck and leave pieces all around is because they cannot figure out how to restore the pile to the old. It is not the pile or external circumstances or relationship that you are restoring to the original - you are restoring you; you with new knowledge, experience, awareness and opportunity, born out of the understanding that life is change and adaptation. When you embrace the idea that you have not been and never will be, defined by your labels, your roles or your experiences, you will redefine based on values and purpose and meaning. You are now picking up the pieces as an affirmation of life and your desire to contribute and love rather than restore what you used to have, be or do. Picking up the pieces involves something different for everybody. I had a client, who after her son died picked up her pieces by volunteering with a youth agency and another client who after divorce went back to school and affirmed her skills and talents in a new way, solely for herself. It can be asking for forgiveness or making amends. Letting go or moving on. Helping out or reaching out. Trying to or stopping.

“We have it in our power to begin the world over again”. ~ Thomas Paine

IN ONE PIECE

Picking up the pieces is not always easy nor does it necessarily feel good, but it is necessary lest you drag with you the pain, disappointments and fear created by the event. Not only will this not restore the original, but it will taint the new as well. Picking up the pieces is not about repairing what cannot be fixed, but reclaiming what was never broken. It takes courage and fortitude to clean up the messes in your life. Give yourself the gift of a “whole” you, fully and peacefully present and free to begin again.

I would love to read your comments on how you have picked up the pieces and moved forward in your life.