BE EXCELLENT

DISTINCTION #5

EXCELLENCE

VERSUS 

PERFECTION

“The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. Really, it's a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free.” ~Charles R. Swindoll

Maybe you wonder why it is important to differentiate between excellence and perfection. I see many clients who are often unconsciously attached to the pursuit of perfection. You may say, “Not me! I know there is no such thing.” But have you ever tried to be everything to everyone? To do it all? To keep everyone happy? Have you ever convinced yourself that no matter how much you love an idea or want to pursue a goal that you are not good enough and so on? Have you started an exercise program and quit a week later and said, “There I go again, quitting”, (perfection self–flagellation) instead of thinking, “What other activities could I try? What could I do differently?” (Excellence, self-care) there is a good chance that perfection was the aim, not excellence. Free yourself from perfection and you will live an excellent life.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

~ Aristotle

FREE TO BE

Be excellent. Ask it of yourself. Raise your standards. Be excellent in the way you treat yourself, care for yourself and express yourself. Excellence is the intention and effort to achieve and fulfill with the highest standards within your capability. It is a behavior that encourages you to be the best you can be. With excellence you value yourself as separate from the achievement. It places value on the process and knows that it is not only the task that is handled with care, but that you handle yourself: thoughts, health, learning and growth with care also. When you work from the mind frame of excellence you want to attain internal satisfaction from pursuing something that aligns with who are being. You do it because it makes you feel good and there is joy in the journey.

“Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.” ~ Salvador Dali

PICTURE PERFECT

Perfection is based on the need for approval, validation and self-worth and it sees the end result as the main target. It is attached to a specific outcome and anything less, no matter what the challenges, growth or learning along the way, is seen as failure. It is lose-lose because perfection does not exist and therefore you will invariably miss the mark. Perfection is an attitude that attaches achievement to your worth. It is demanding, irrevocable and ultimately, limiting.

“All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.” ~William Faulkner

PERFECTLY EXCELLENT

The difference between excellence and perfection is in the interpretation and meaning that is attached to the goal. Excellence is a behavior whereas perfection is an attitude. When you operate from excellence you are willing to risk failure and this means you become more developed and realized and successful because you are willing to try. When you think about life as a trial of perfection or not perfection, you take little to no risk because the fear of failure – aka, the fear of having your self-worth challenged and dumped on - stops you before you start. Excellence interprets taking a risk in general as a success, whereas perfection sees taking a risk as a sure fire way to fail. Seen from the viewpoint of excellence, mistakes are opportunities for gathering information and understanding oneself better, but perfection will use it as a way to conduct lengthy and ongoing criticism sessions. The perfectionist expects goals to be achieved immediately. I recurrently come across clients who convey frustration at about the third or fourth coaching session, "I get what you are saying, but I can't stop the negative self-talk." They demand of themselves an immediate fixing or solution even if the challenge has been present for 35 years. Now that they conceptually get it – bingo-bango. Right?! Whereas the pursuer of excellence continues to aim for goals even when there is no immediate change, acknowledging that change occurs with steady application over time. There is patience to the process. When you choose excellence you are motivated; choosing perfection is demoralizing.What potential joy, realizations and opportunities are you losing out on by reaching for perfection, instead of intending excellence? What if you began today by giving yourself a break and in doing so, you could break the chains? What could you do if you already knew your value and your worth and you did not need to prove it – how excellent would that be?

Excellence: Behavior and Habits, Motivating, Process, Valuing Self, Assessing Mistakes, Collaboration with Others, Taking Risks, Joy in the Process, Steady, Peace 

Perfection: Attitude,Demoralizing, Outcome, Valuing Achievement, Criticizing Failure, Handling it All, Avoiding Risks, Frustration in the Process, Frantic, Pressure