GIVE ME A BREAK

THURSDAY'S THOUGHT:

GIVE OTHER'S A BREAK

We have all been there: a person cuts you off in traffic, steals your parking spot, and jumps the line, is a bit critical or snippy, doesn’t smile or hold the door open for you, or fails to come through on a commitment. We have all been on the receiving end and it would be unlikely if we ourselves were not also the perpetrator of such slights and inconsideration. It happens, and in today’s high stress, socially plugged in, yet sometimes, unsocialized feeling world, it is easy to take it personally and to allow it to impact your state of mind and influence your mood. When it is done to you it is common to immediately judge the person as rude, poorly raised, inconsiderate and these are just the polite words, however when you are responsible; you were in a rush, tired or simply unaware or forgetful. This tendency to explain a person's behavior in terms of abilities, motives and personality traits, while ignoring external situational factors is know as the fundamental attribution error. We categorize a person based on these onetime actions rather than thinking that there may be other factors contributing to their behavior. When we are guilty however,  we can more easily explain  or justify because we are aware of all the circumstances involved. I have seen the upswing in a less than jovial behavior, tense comments and impatience at this, “the most wonderful time of the year.” The holiday season; full of demands, expectations, attempts to relive the past, financial burden and so on, can cause even the most calm and considerate person to slip up and make mistakes. We are all a kaleidoscope of experiences and traits and to simply give each other a break could be the most important gift of all.

GIVE ME A BREAK

I am a stickler for manners and good graces and consideration. I want to leave any place and space better than when I got there and I certainly attempt to consider my fellow woman when making a move, driving, and interacting. But, there have been times, when because of other extenuating circumstances, a person, upon meeting me only once, may have thought “how rude, she wasn’t very friendly” and so on. Loss, pain, lack of sleep or a multitude of life’s challenging circumstance made my normal, friendly disposition an immense effort and quite frankly not easily accessible. I would not condone deliberately mean-spirited, dangerous behavior, however the occasional slight must be viewed as a temporary blip and not necessarily an indication of the overall character of the person.

 

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

 

Could you give yourself a break and by extension, others as well? Can you choose to respond differently and by virtue of doing so carry with you a spirit of humanity and kindness? You will feel empowered and balanced and mindful of your thoughts and moods, when you see other’s behavior not as a personal attack, but as a reflection of their own experience at that exact moment in time. There is an art and skill to giving each other a break and it begins with remembering that none of us is perfect.  I will certainly make mistakes again, so why should my expectations of others be any different?

How could you give yourself a break? How could you give others a break?