THE GIFT OF HINDSIGHT?

 

 

"Live out of your imagination, not your history." ~ Stephen Covey

Hindsight – friend or foe, helpful or unhelpful? Hindsight is looking back on a situation with all the knowledge, experiences and information that is available to you now, in the present, that was not available or obvious to you in the past. It is when you are unhappy about an outcome and are carrying regrets and dissatisfaction that the, if only and should haves creep in; the over-thinking and over-analyzing about how different information and subsequently a different choice could have changed things; things that you do not like now. With hindsight you are reflecting with all the advantages contained within the present moment awareness and speculating about how this new wisdom could have been or should have been applied.

IT IS OBVIOUS, ISN’T?

The problem is that there is a tendency to paint the past with a different brush, a pattern called hindsight bias, also known as the “I knew-it-all-along” effect or creeping determinism and it is this phenomenon that causes people to exaggerate the predictability of an event, after it has happened. This effect can be particularly torturous, because the pain or disappointment you are facing now seems so avoidable and you would do anything to stop the pain. The problem is that what seems so obvious or easy now, obviously was not the obvious choice then and this thinking only adds another layer of pain and shame to the story. This type of bias disregards many of the other factors in how or why you reached  a certain conclusion, opened a specific door or walked that particular path. It disregards the most important thing- it was not obvious or it was not possible or it was a huge stretch and so on to make that choice, create that outcome, get that result, but instead, in the present, from an aerial view, you are convinced you should have seen it or that you did see it and just did not listen.
 

“It's so difficult, isn't it? To see what's going on when you're in the absolute middle of something? It's only with hindsight we can see things for what they are.”

~ S.J. Watson

RESET VERSUS REGRET

Hindsight can be useful, but only when applied, purposefully. Applying a reflective spirit to a current situation that you are unhappy with requires the willingness to embrace the discomfort and look back with non-judgement and compassion, lest you run the risk of staying stuck, missing the learning and feeling terrible about yourself.  

Over the next little while, we will explore how to handle the bumpy patches and regrets without using hindsight as a form of torture; getting lost in a vicious cycle of regret and victimhood. Living from regret and focusing on what you perceive as wrong choices, missteps and poorly handled opportunities is holding yourself hostage and frozen and absolutely incapable of moving forward with confidence and ease. Instead we will explore skills to help empower you through the disappointing times, when things did not turn out as planned or hoped, shifting you from wishing to wisdom and from regret to reset.