HOW TO STOP MAKING THINGS HARDER THAN THEY HAVE TO BE

Do you want to do it the easy way or the hard way? Can I take door number three?! The questions should be, does this choice honour my life? Does this choice create the feelings I desire and support my values or does this choice allow me avoid feelings, stay safe and make reactionary decisions? Surprisingly, taking the easy way out and making things harder than they have to be, come from the same intention - to avoid uncomfortable feelings: fear, pain, boredom and fatigue. Both door one and door two allow us to forget the long-term gains that will come from handling the immediate moment. When we focus with the end in mind, the destination in the forefront and the purpose planned, we will avoid both the easy and the hard and instead only see the necessary. 

STOP TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT: Do you ever just sweep crumbs under the rug or under the cupboards? Do you ever sort of brush your teeth or wash your face before bed? Do you ever just…? We all take the easy way out sometimes, the road travelled a lot and the path of least resistance, or cleanliness or healthiness, as the case may be. Been there and done that. The consequences of an occasional easy-way-out will probably not amount to catastrophe, but a life time of shortcuts is a recipe for disappointment, messiness and pain. Short-term relief now, will always lead to long-term discomfort – always. Because what you do not deal with, does not disappear; crumbs pile up my friends and tooth decay sets in, and once it has grown, it is a lot harder to deal with. Your future life is happening now, and the “I’ll do it later, when I feel like it, once I’m ready," has lasting, negative consequences. The small actions and commitments avoided daily, are the sum total of your life. What is the message? I’ll live my life later? I’ll value myself later? I’ll remember that my relationships are sacred, later? That will not create a life of ease, but dis-ease, and dissatisfaction.

STOP MAKING THINGS HARDER THAN THEY HAVE TO BE. I have seen this play out in my client’s experiences many times. There is a goal, a project and an outcome that they want and they are excited about and before the words have barely left their mouths, they put a bunch of hurdles in the way. Hurdles that look and sound like: procrastination, perfection, right timing, more support, the best option, more free time or money. In a matter of minutes, the path between them, and this thing they want is littered with a hurdle every step of the way. Sometimes, we have to persevere and overcome and jump the hurdles, but most often we just need to stop putting the hurdles there in the first place! The the goal will not be not less fulfilling or important and we ourselves are not less amazing or worthy, if we do not jump over and knock down three thousand hurdles on the way to the goal. Worthwhile and amazing is not always a stupendous feat of overcoming. Worthwhile can be the decision to allow your fears to fuel you, not block you, to allow the vulnerability to move your forward, not trip you up.  It is taking actions that are neither easy or hard but strategic, conscious and thoughtful.  There is nothing “easy” about that, because the internal work, the self-belief, the exposure to risk is just as true and the discomfort just as real. Is that not a big enough hurdle? Do you need to make it any harder?

HOW: Both of these ideas require staying in the moment and handling what is right in front of you. Whether it is immediately dealing with a challenge or issue, or whether it is not allowing yourself to create additional or imaginary hurdles. You do what you can, when you can, here and now.