The Moment of Truth

Today’s Word is Truth

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” Oscar Wilde

Truth is a complicated, multifaceted concept and is defined as, “the true or actual state of a matter, conformity with fact or reality; and a verified or indisputable fact, proposition and principle.” The reality of truth is that it is always evolving and changing and is often subjective. It ebbs and flows; individual perspective, experience, timing and a variety of other factors shape a person’s viewpoints. It is a foundational component in your relationship with yourself and with others and it needs to be respected. The profound nature of divulging your outlook must be considered, the manner and method of delivery must be clear and the response, honored. Telling yourself and/or others the truth can be a powerful, important undertaking, as it literally has the ability to change the trajectory of life.

The truth and most often, just the admitting of the truth, is enough to instigate change and movement. Your truth is the current understanding of your hopes and dreams, fears and challenges and the acceptance of the reality of your experience. There are many things that block the ability or desire to tell the truth. Where there is fear, there is survival mode, informing your brain to avoid “danger” at all costs and telling the truth whether it is to yourself or to others has proven risky and is therefore avoided. As a life coach one of the ways I help clients prepare to acknowledge, honor and act on their truth is to help them build a reserve in all areas of their lives. In coaching terms that means there is an absence of adrenaline, stress, pressure and the proper self-care and support structures are in place.

As my clients can attest, I often ask them, Is it true? Is that belief, the repetitive thought you have about yourself, another person or the situation, true? Or as Oscar Wilde said, “is it simply the opinion that has survived?” Your observations, feelings and perceptions are your truth, yet it does not make it true. My role is to challenge my client’s assumptions, long held beliefs or truth(s). As the client reevaluates old perceptions they literally experience the reality of truth as evolving and changing in nature.

As a child you were probably taught that lying is bad but also experienced moments of truth telling that felt pretty bad too! You said something that was honest for you in the moment; your teacher’s bad breath, you did not want to play with your cousin, a feeling that made you uncomfortable and you were reprimanded. Knowing when and why you should share a feeling or thought with others or even acknowledge it yourself was confusing. Even more confusing was how to express it, as it was rarely demonstrated in an exemplary fashion. Many struggle with how to articulate their truth; what they feel and what they need. What language do you use? How do you handle the potential fall-out? What should you share or not share? When sharing your experience about yourself, what is happening for you, keep in mind that your are sharing your perception and the other parties’ perception may contain within it a different truth. Notice how throughout this blog it is described as your truth, not the truth. Taking ownership, without expectation that your opinion is the only valid opinion, is the first step to mastering the skill of truth telling. Using words such as never, always or shouldn’t can close down a discussion before it has begun. Insight into the distinctions between words, such as impossible or challenging and simple or easy, can also create greater transparency in your message. This is one of the areas I work on with coaching clients; helping them to speak not only to others, but to themselves in a way that conveys a more accurate and deeper picture of the issue. When offering your opinion to others or making suggestions, first make sure it is welcome. Remember, “unsolicited advice is criticism.” Be cautious about wielding how you see things as a weapon or sermon from a podium; an approach which often leads to a defensive stance. Clear communication and vocabulary is important when it comes to expressing yourself and your feelings. There are nuances and distinctions between words that are incredibly important when you become a truth teller.

The truth is not found out there, in someone or something else. It is found within you and within your experiences. Truth is relative to you and I have witnessed over and over again that when a person is willing to claim, share or challenge their truth, they see that their reality has always been exactly what they believed to be true…

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.'
Khalil Gibran

Today Ask Yourself:

1. What truth(s) do I need to face or reevaluate?
2. What has stopped me from telling the truth to myself and others?

3. How can I improve my skills as a truth-teller?

Life coaching can be extremely beneficial when sourcing your truth and learning to express this to others. Creating a strong foundation, deeper understanding and practicing clear communication can pave the way to becoming an effective truth-teller. Please visit my website and book your free consultation today, http://www.onpurposelifecoch.com/