“Never violate the sacredness of your individual self-respect.”
~Theodore Parker
~Theodore Parker
Self-respect is paramount for attaining the calmness and peace of mind that many are looking for. There are as many distinctions between self-respect, self-esteem and self-confidence as there are Osmonds or for the slightly younger crowd, the Kardashians, but essentially each definition is trying to make clear the importance of knowing and acting on your worth. Self-confidence is the acceptance of yourself and your place in the world based on who you are, not what you do. It is intrinsic and is the knowledge that you have worth simply by being. Self-esteem requires evaluation and generally a comparison against a standard. For your self “be held in esteem or regarded favorably” and is often an assessment of your ability to meet an expectation. It is feeling satisfied that what you do, is showing your true worth.
Self-respect however, is a combination of the two and is a demonstration of your integrity; knowing and acting on your worth. Integrity is what leads to the representation of the authentic you and informs peace and balance in your life. Self-confidence leads to self-respect and self-respect leads to self-esteem. When you are short on positive self-respect it contributes to a multitude of behaviors and reactions that limit your quality of life: toleration of abusive relationships, mistreating your body, limiting your full potential, saying yes, when you want to say no, and on and on. Self-esteem is damaged when you seek approval from others over accepting yourself. Self-esteem flourishes when you have congruency between your thoughts and how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you.
What would your life be like if you knew your value and proceeded to behave in ways that affirmed this worth? No false boasting, praising or false self-importance, but instead a clear estimation of who you are? What if you showed this self-respect by knowing that you are more than enough, as you are? Self-respect would follow in your willingness to say – enough is enough to yourself when you are limiting or ignoring your needs, your worth and your quiddity. It is saying enough is enough when others are disregarding, trampling on or hurting you. Self-respect cannot be found from praise or pleasing others. It cannot be found in the ignoring or falsifying yourself – it is found in knowing and acting on your worth; first in your relationship with yourself and then by extension in your relationship with others.
“To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves - there lies the great, singular power of self-respect.” ~Joan Didion
Today Ask Yourself:
1. Where in your life are you demonstrating your worth?
2. Where in your life are you not demonstrating your worth?
3. What are you losing by not respecting yourself in those situations?
1. Where in your life are you demonstrating your worth?
2. Where in your life are you not demonstrating your worth?
3. What are you losing by not respecting yourself in those situations?
If you would like support in building self-confidence, self-esteem and self-respect please email me at, onpurposelifecoaching@hotmail.com. I would be honored to assist you in claiming your worth.
1 comment:
It is ironic how we as children are taught to respect our elders, teachers, parents and our friends but no one ever shows or encourages you to respect ourselves first. We grow up thinking respect must come from outside ourselves when really self respect is the only thing that matters. If I respect myself by standing true to who I am and what I need then any showing of respect from others is a bonus.
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