HEY, DO YOU HAVE THE TIME?

 “Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” - William Penn

If you are willing to look at your relationship with time then you will begin to add richness and joy back into your life. Many clients will tell me there is just not enough time in the day; their non-negotiables and responsibilities outweigh the minutes and there is nothing they can do. They will tell me that that if they could just learn to manage their time and stick to a plan, well then – watch out! Ah, time management… the perfect solution? Here is what I have learned about time management – it is only as effective as your ability to transform your relationship with time. No system will ever work if you are living your life in denial of your values; if you are ignoring your physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual needs and if you are looking for fulfillment or approval from what you get done. Time management is an interesting term as it implies that you can control time. It is not time you need to manage, it is you. A time management system is designed to record and highlight your commitments. You must first decide what you are committed to. See time as an expression of who you are and what you are creating, not as a measurement of minutes, worth or value.

“Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week’s value out of a year while another man gets a full year’s value out of a week”. - Charles Richards

NO TIME IN THE PRESENT

It is very difficult to make a good use of your time if you if you believe yourself to be at the mercy of your job, your husband, your extended family or the kids. And even if you do take back control, now you are consumed with the guilt associated with saying no or limiting certain obligations. If you regularly ignore, avoid and cut out activities and projects that most nourish you, you will always be searching for more time. Why? Because you are missing something and you assume it must be time. What you are missing is you - the commitment to you. When your life is organized around your values and the feelings you want to experience in your minute to minute, you will not be chained to the schedule, but liberated by it. You will be able to effectively say no, eliminate excess and decide what you want to do. How much longer would you like to put off life and whose life are you really living? What are you trying to prove? Who do you want to impress and what do you need to hear? “You are amazing, productive and therefore you are worth it?” Well, you are, whether you tick everything off your list or not.

“It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?” - Henry David Thoreau

When your schedule is run by the feelings you wish to avoid: fear of disappointing others or fear of missing out on something or guilt, shame and worthlessness, rather than the feelings you wish to experience: happiness, calmness and excitement, you will never have enough time. Attempting to manage stress, get love or prove yourself by ignoring yourself never works. By the way, relentlessly giving and wanting to do it all right now (even if you love all of it) does not demonstrate worth – it demonstrates your priorities. It does not give you value – it shows what you value.

FREE TIME

So how do you do this? Essentially you design your time around activities that you enjoy, are good at and that advance your purpose. As Richard Koch describes in his book, The 80/20 Principle, you must choose activities that are high value activities more than you choose low value activities. If there is a should or have to or it has always been done that way attached to the commitment – reevaluate. Obviously we all have obligations that must be met, that we may not enjoy: doing taxes, folding laundry or attending a team building event at work, however as you begin to change your relationship with time you will find nuggets of importation and options. Be guided by internal value instead of searching for external recognition and delegation, elimination and freedom will result. 

TIME OF YOUR LIFE

Everyone has the same amount of time and a choice and you can design how you want to use it. Think of time as your art. If I was to look at your art, what would I know about you? Could I see how you feel about yourself? Who you love? Could I see your purpose and your life in your art? If you are willing to be revolutionary, you will begin to create the space to live your life, instead of manage your schedule. Ah, life management...