LIFE IS NOT FAIR

I INVITE YOU TO:

Let Go of Fair

“Life is not fair, nor has it ever been, but the morning seems determined to dawn until it is.” ~Robert Brault

Life is not fair. It is not equitable, impartial, unprejudiced, unbiased, objective or dispassionate. It is inordinately unbalanced and unfair. The good do not always win, the smartest do not always get ahead and the hard worker is not consistently rewarded. People are born within and with different circumstances; silver spoon, no spoon, two parents, no parents, in a peaceful country, in a war-torn country, with eyesight, with no sight, with learning challenges, with genius. It would be a relief at times to know that it was all even and balanced, however as it sits today, fair is simply a mental construct, at times a negative one. Fairness in our treatment of others is a noble pursuit and should continue to be our aim, but expecting all things to be equitable, at all times can be very incapacitating.

“Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.”

~Grandma Moses

NO FAIR!

If ever there was a more common phrase from childhood, “It’s not fair” is bound to be on the top ten list of most repeated declarations. The common response was “oh well, life is not fair.” The idea of fairness can be crippling because it is easy to become a victim of your circumstance when you have attached the need for fairness to your endeavors and the outcomes of your efforts. Looking for or insisting on fairness can cause you to overlook the choices you have in the moment and the internal conviction needed to move your life in the direction you want to go. Life is not fair becomes a mantra, when you believe that you do not have any impact or influence on your circumstances. Some people are born with multiple “blessings,” others, not so much. It can be difficult to believe that you can change your course when you have no reference point, therefore nothing to show you otherwise. This can lead to the repetitive affirmation of your life not being fair and therefore can thwart your abilities to set goals and achieve them.”Why bother, life is harder for me, never works out and is not as easy for me.” Your assessment of whether life is fair will often depend on who you are comparing yourself to and whether you have become blinded to the learning and information contained within your life. So, what do you do? You accept the circumstances, learn from and change what you can change and believe that you can influence your life. Most importantly, know that the outcome may not always be ideal or fair, but your attitude, reactions and choices, can be.

“Life is not always fair. Sometimes you get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.” ~Terri Guillemets

FAIR ENOUGH

As human beings we have the right to be treated equally and not be judged on the basis of race, gender or religion etc. (we are working on this!) but there is nothing in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights that says we all deserve the same, that it will always be fair and even. There is nothing in our system that can determine who will be born with opportunities and freedoms and love and who will not be. Ultimate fairness is beyond our immediate control, therefore we must each stop using fairness as a reason to limit, but instead use it as reason to leverage, because within the myriad of unfairness lies the opportunity for an epiphany and transformation and new way. It is the unfairness that drives us to exert ourselves, to push ourselves and others beyond our history, physical or mental challenges and circumstances. Around the corner and down the road from fairness lies the possibility of power that is a result in no longer simply wanting things to be fair, but to have meaning. No longer trying to replace what was missing but embracing what is and what could be. No longer comparing but creating. Life is not fair, but I am fairly certain you can create meaning, joy and live life On Purpose.