Great Expectations

I INVITE YOU TO:

 Ruffle Feathers

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Dr.Suess

Stir it up, disappoint, say no way and hell ya, leave it all on the table, say how you feel, draw the line and do it all in the name of living on purpose. Do it with love and care and compassion. Do it with the highest regard for yourself and others, but do it. If you are not polarizing, pushing buttons and challenging from time to time then you are most likely not living your life. You cannot and should try to – please everybody all the time. This overindulgence in pleasing, meeting and living up to the expectations of others will not create the life you desire. Interesting how often we can disappoint ourselves and ruffle our own feathers. How much time and energy in your life is invested in not disappointing others or wishing others had not disappointed you? It is very difficult, if not impossible, to live with any authenticity or peace when life is lived in constant fear of disappointment.

FALL SHORT OF EXPECTATIONS

Disappointment is necessary and is part of self-growth and evolvement. We easily broke rules, said no and set boundaries when we were children. Eventually we learned that to be loved and fit in we needed to tow the line. Many people continue the habit of ignoring their own feelings and needs because of the ingrained desire to be loved and accepted. This is the line we all walk;  connecting and needing love from others and connecting and feeling love for ourselves. When you live boldly, daringly and authentically you will inevitably have goals, take actions and express values that are not on target with others and this can lead to frustration and sadness. So you disappoint others from time to time. So what? Disappointing and ignoring yourself is not the answer. If you want to guarantee resentment as a constant companion, disregard your own happiness in favor of winning approval from others. Only you can honor your dreams and goals and ultimately your life.

BIG SHOES TO FILL?

And when your feathers get ruffled consider the intention. Sometimes hurtful or unnecessary, but most often it is simply the assertion of  the other person's life; their dreams, values, goals and desires which they deem important. Can you honor and respect another even when what they choose does not meet your standards or expectations? Can you graciously conclude that your expectations and rules may not always apply to others? Can you value their view, their line and their hell ya? By doing so you give yourself permission to embrace the life you want to create. Are you willing to handle your own feelings in order to make peace with the need for perfection from and control of others? Transformation and liberation is the ultimate result of being truthful and encouraging this in others as well.

" Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of  another's personhood." ~ Karen Casey

MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS

It can be uncomfortable, painful even, to draw the line and feel you have hurt others. You may experience the choices made by those around you as a slight or injury. We must not run from this type of discomfort because it is an essential and important marker on our journey of growth, self-discovery, authenticity and fulfillment. When you welcome disappointment you will release  others from the danger of your expectations and by challenging the insecurity around disappointing others, you take risks more easily and free your life. So go ahead - ruffle feathers, hold your own, have a voice and be you.

How do you feel about ruffling feathers, disappointing others or being disappointed? Please share your thoughts, ideas and experiences.