Habits

Today is the first blog in the new series. My intention with each offering is to seed ideas, provide resources and action steps to support you in growing your life. Enjoy.

MONDAY’S MOTIVATOR:

Your life is a direct reflection of your habits.

Change Your Habits, Change Your Life.

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” ~ Goethe

How many times have you woken up on a Monday, determined, disciplined and ready to make lasting and consistent changes, but by Friday you are eating the Cheetos, yelling at the kids and going to bed too late? What do those who stick to the habits that support their goals know, that you may not? How do you stick to creating new habits? Ending a habit is also, essentially, the creating of a new habit. Whatever you experience in your life a.k.a., the stimulus: relationship stress, job challenges etc.,  results in a thought (belief): “This is too hard. I’m not worth it. I can’t handle the stress” which in turn activates the habitual pattern: Overeating, sleeping in, quitting, creating drama and so on. If you react, respond and behave the same way, think and believe the same way, you will only ever produce that which the habitual thoughts and actions create. Changing habits is fundamental to changing your life. You are living life based on what you believe about yourself and what you think you can have, deserve, should or should not be doing and your habits are a direct reflection of that.

“Habits are safer than rules; you don't have to watch them. And you don't have to keep them, either. They keep you.”

~Frank Crane

THIS TIME, FOR SURE…

You are not alone on the hamster wheel of habit forming, habit quitting and ultimately discouragement. You do not lack discipline, willpower or desire; what you may be lacking is the knowledge, tools and support to help you get there. Habits become hardwired and so eventually, like breathing, occur without you consciously choosing them. We are primed to choose the go-to, feel good, easy response to all stimuli, even the responses we know are not in our best interest. Without empowering habits, self-esteem is sabotaged and frustration sets in; you know you are not experiencing the productive, healthy, loving, and fulfilled life you desire. Making a change can feel hard but with a few steps and commitment to the reasons for the steps, habits that are On Purpose can become the new normal.

“First we make our habits, and then our habits make us.”

~ Charles C. Noble

H.A.B.I.T.S.

Do not delay, grab a pen and decide that you will create a new habit. Pick one habit you would like to add to your life and then apply my H.A.B.I.T.S formula. Stick with it a minimum of thirty days, as any new habit needs at least twenty-one days to take hold. You are literally forming new neural connections and making this your go-to response.

H – HONESTLY HONE in on what you want to change and why it is important to you. What are the benefits? Why is it important? What feelings are you going for? What is the long term benefit? What will be uncomfortable in the beginning? What are you willing to give up? Extra sleep? T.V. time? Then figure out what you need to do to prepare mentally, physically and emotionally in order to make this change. Learn about it, take a class, ask questions and get support.

A – AUTOMATE. Do not trust your response to stimuli, automate the process. Reminders, alarms, affirmations, notes, pictures, your life coach and whatever you need to do to remind yourself of the importance and your commitment to the habit.

B – BIG Do not start too big. Think of adding something in, not stopping everything. Begin with five minutes, one technique, one new thing and build from there, otherwise you may get burnt out and the body/brain will rebel at too many changes, too fast.

I – INTERRUPTION TO THE PLAN. Know that the unexpected will happen - do not use distractions as an excuse to give up entirely. You may get a cold, kids get sick, husband works late and plans go awry. Reevaluate, refocus and recommit.

T – TELL others, especially the people closest to you so that they can support you and hold you accountable. Tell them how to do this. You also need to tell those closest to you, as there will likely be a disruption to their comfort and habits as well.

S- SUCCESS. Celebrate each change, new response and action step. Acknowledge what is working. Each time, change, step and moment deserves appreciation – do not deny yourself the self-support along the way.

“Thoughts lead on to purpose, purpose leads on to actions, actions form habits, habits decide character, and character fixes our destiny”

 ~ Tryon Edwards