LIMINAL SPACES

“It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.” ~ Marilyn Ferguson

My work as a life coach could be described as a bridge between. I work and encourage and support in the liminal spaces. The word “liminal” comes from the Latin word limens, meaning literally, "threshold." I am there at the threshold, standing with the client as they ready themselves to cross the boundaries of where they were, into what they want to be. I tell clients that this is the sweet spot, where they must let go of all that is comfortable and familiar and reach for the new. It might be more accurate to say it is the bittersweet spot, because there are always things you must give up in order to change, grow and move forward. A liminal space - the place of transition, waiting and not knowing, is happening at all times. So many want to quickly cross the threshold and rush to the other side, but there is much to gain from the in-between and it is often a necessary stage to acclimate you to the coming change. Could you embrace the in-between? Regardless of your awareness during a transition, regardless of wanting the transition and regardless of asking for the transition, it is still disorientating. Career change, moving, having children, sickness and marriage and divorce, are examples of times where you are at the threshold, where you can still see and feel the old life, but know you must walk across to the new.

“I am seeking for the bridge which leans from the visible to the invisible through reality.” ~Max Beckmann

THE MIDDLE WAY

This can be a painful place; you may feel lonely, depressed and overwhelmed and the natural instinct is to run, but because this is a place of ambiguity, a grey area with blurred edges, you are running blind and often in fear. Many of my clients describe it like there is fog all around them, they are lost in a thick forest or they can hear voices but cannot make out the words. In Buddhist philosophy this is called “the middle way.” A place where there is no reference point and beyond needing courage, you must adopt a new way of seeing; with intuition, a beginners mind and trust. It is in the resistance of the in-between that you can miss the opportunity to transform. By embracing this uncertainty you can become more aware of yourself and the world around you. If you can just pause and rest in the liminal space, you will see that pain and possibility can exist simultaneously and that hardship and ease are there as well. If you practice standing in the liminal space, you can not only let go of what does not serve you, but begin to clear the fog and start to imagine what could be. The essence of transformation is awareness and you cannot become aware when you are looking for a way out instead of accessing what is within. Transformation demands curiosity and openness and is the process of shifting from patterns of fear and avoidance, to new patterns of possibility and willingness.

“Leaving the old, both worlds at once they view, That stand upon the threshold of the new.” ~ Edmund Waller

During the coaching process I do not rush headfirst into a solution, but instead see the richness in the moment as the client explores what was not working and what needs to be released; a cleansing and ultimately an acceptance of “something” that has come to pass. It is also a time of claiming the memories, messages and meaning from the previous experiences – tools and treasures which they will carry over the threshold as they embark on the journey. It is in the middle way that new perspectives, habits and ideas can materialize. Maybe that is why I have always loved the image of a beautiful door; it conjures about the image of possibility and the knowledge that you can close the door on one chapter of your life and open the door and cross and the threshold into a new chapter.