MY FIRST LOVE

 “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” 

~Oscar Wilde

Do you know what it means to love yourself? We have all heard, you have to love yourself first, but I have noticed that there is confusion and difficulty in doing this. Many have come to believe that love is an outside experience, a gift bestowed on them by others and a “thing” they attain because of who they are and what they give to someone else. I sense there is a faulty understanding that self-love equals feeling good, all the time, and therefore they try to meet that feeling of self-love through self-indulgence rather than self-care and self-acceptance. Filling every whim and need and desire because “they love themselves, deserve it and it makes them feel better”; an externalized seeking of an inner need. The inability to love yourself leaves you in a precarious position. It requires people pleasing, self-denial and the incessant reassurance from others that you are worthy. Self-love is a deep longing and is only fulfilled by practicing reverence for yourself and your life and the wonders of being alive. It is both an outer body experience, a connection to the energy of the divine and an inner experience of connecting to your soul.

“Scarcity of self value cannot be remedied by money, recognition, affection, attention or influence.” ~Gary Zukav

How do you demonstrate self-love? Well, because it is not synonymous with feeling good, it often means ignoring first impulses, quick reactions and easy solutions in the service of optimal self-care. True self-love is a dynamic and active state of knowing and growing oneself and then advocating for your life with compassion and a connection to your humanness. It is neither arrogance, nor the denial of flaws or challenges. It is actually the caring for yourself despite your lack of perfection. Self-love is respect and is demonstrated in the day-to-day care of your body, mind and soul: saying no when it is uncomfortable, committing when you want to give up and risking when you are afraid, with the sole purpose of connecting to and expressing the soul and the truth of who you are. 

“She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself.”
- Anais Nin

WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?

You can tell when you are in-love with yourself by the love you are able to unconditionally express through thought and deed. No expectation. No specific results required. Nothing needed from your outpouring. You will know, because your happiness and worth will not based on anything external or anyone else’s approval. When we have the daring to let the walls down - to know and cherish ourselves, despite our human faults, we also open the door to bonding in a more authentic, empathetic, intimate way with the ones we love and with all living beings. Today, I hope you will take a minute to connect with your first and forever love – yourself.

 “It's not your job to like me...it's MINE!” ~Byron Katie