5 THINGS THAT CONFIDENT PEOPLE DO

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit” ~E.E Cummings

1. THEY CHALLENGE THE LIES

They tell the truth. They stand for it, seek it and live it. Voices of denial and voices of persecution are given equal weight and are both dealt with swiftly and compassionately. They do not allow themselves to live in fear; they square up and take reality as it is and as it comes.  They also do not allow themselves to become a victim of their own negative self-talk and self-limiting beliefs. They square up to that as well – challenge it, replace it and move on.

Your Turn: See your life and yourself as you are, right now. Own and grow from it. You no longer get to beat yourself up, you change negative self-talk and you take full responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions.

“It’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power!” ~Robert T. Kiosaki 

2. THEY STOP TRYING TO FIX THEMSELVES

What? This coming from a life coach! They embrace who they are. They learn about their strengths, what energizes them, charges them up and what gets them going and they stop trying to fix weaknesses. If your life is aggressively organized around what makes you feel good, your weaknesses become a footnote. One person’s weakness is another man’s strength and all that– outsource, give away, give up and move on.

Your Turn: Identify when you feel your best, are in the flow and you lose track of time. Do more of this and less of the things that drain your energy. Own and live your personality – introvert, extrovert, left or right brained – self-acceptance is one of the keys to self-confidence.

3. THEY DO NOT NEED TO PLEASE

Tuned into their values and what they need, they do not desire to win favor or approval from others by disregarding their own needs. They offer themselves generously and love to connect, but never at the expense of self-respect and self-care.

Your Turn: Know what you want, what you value and what you need: rest, honesty, fun, a phone call before they pop over? Graciously express this and live by it.

4. THEY OWN THEIR MISTAKES AND THEY ROLL WITH THEIR FAILURES

They know that mistakes are inevitable and see them as a worthwhile cost to taking risks and trying new things. They own up, apologize, make amends, learn from it and move on. Failure becomes a breeding ground for growth and fostering human compassion, not a notch on the, “look how much I suck”, belt.

Your Turn: Take responsibility, drop the victim-hood and do not blame. What did you do? What could you have done? What did you learn? Failure is not a reason to stop; it is a message to re-evaluate and approach in a new way. Celebrate the failures as an indication of a life challenged and well-lived.

“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale 

5. THEY AVOID THE, I LOOK GOOD, THEREFORE I FEEL CONFIDENT TRAP

They do not base their confidence on anything external: the malleable and shift-able – appearance, weight, money, relationships. Their confidence is based on excellent self-care, self-acceptance and recognition of strengths and the building of skills. They respect their bodies and care for it because of what it allows them to do and feel and they enjoy the expression of it. Size, age, bank account balance do not erode or foster self-confidence. Instead their self-confidence compels them to make the choices, take the actions that affirm their value and worth.

Your Turn: Take care of yourself, eat well, exercise and honor your body. Take time each day to express gratitude for what your body does for you, how it functions. Enjoy moving it, dressing it, loving with it, creating with it. Hold your head up and own it.

True self-confidence, the kind you can’t buy in a store, receive from someone else, lose enough weight to find or make enough money to attain, comes from accepting yourself, taking risks and living your life in a way that honors who you really want to be, not who you think you should be or wish you were. Confidence comes from taking risks and seeing that you can survive and better yet – THRIVE. Self-confidence is an active state and is the acceptance of yourself and your place in the world based on who you are are, not just what you do. It is the practice of honoring, growing and supporting yourself as you journey through life. 

How can you become more confident today?