16 Things to STOP Doing in '16

At the beginning of the year focus often goes to what we want to improve in our lives. We make a list of all the things, activities and goals we want to add, do and achieve, but what we eliminate, say no to and get rid of is often the best place to start. This is essential for promoting mental space, time and energy; clearing a path to identify and pursue what is most important. So for the next little while, I want to draw attention to sixteen things that you can stop doing in 2016. Sixteen patterns of thought; habitual behaviors, that when obliterated, will allow you to direct focus on what you can do, here and now. 

1. I CAN'T COMPLAIN

Now don’t get me wrong, a good venting or complaining session can be a healthy way to let off steam and diffuse emotional residue, but if your communication regularly sounds more like a three year old wanting another cookie, you may have slipped into chronic complaining. Complaining keeps us focused on the problem. It is a direct instruction to the brain: notice all the disarray and disappointment. Notice what is wrong, but then say, okay, so now what? This encourages options to materialize and action to be taken. 

"Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals." Randy Pausch

HOW: Decide you want attention for being an ass-kicking, superhero (tights optional) problem solver, a get up and go when things are down, rebel with a cause. Let that energy fuel your words and actions.

2. MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT

Stop focusing on your mistakes and failures, really...just stop. Easier said than done and all that aside, it is simply counterproductive and old. Revisiting a past mistake can be helpful when you learn something and move on. So remembering that your weakness for men who are all charm, but little substance, could exponentially decrease your chances of  long nights crying on your BFF’s shoulder, while bemoaning, why me and where have all the good ones gone? But replaying mistakes over and over like a bad sitcom, leaves you with reduced self-esteem and takes you out of the practice of learning from living.

We make mistakes, we epically fail and time marches on and if we coulda, shoulda, woulda, we miss the meaning and the mastery that is possible from the mistake.  

HOW: When you hear yourself regretting, wondering or looking back, ask yourself: What is the best message and meaning to take from the experience? How can I use this information to live more fully? Do it over and over until the pile of  craopploa becomes the fertilizer for better choices today.

What could change for you if you stopped these first two patterns? What could you gain? What would you be able to grow in your life? I would love to hear what you are going to stop doing in favor of more joy, success and peace in your life.