My Mistake

HOW DO I LET GO OF MY MISTAKES?

 

"A man’s errors are his portals to discovery." – James Joyce

I thought this question was appropriate after the forgiveness blog, as letting go of your mistakes is about self-forgiveness. Mistakes are simply a mis-take or a missed try. Granted, some mistakes are larger than others and the impact greater. Like sleeping and eating, mis-takes are common ground and not one of us is immune. You can however, begin to eliminate repetitive mistakes, habitual problems and reoccurring drama by taking full responsibility for your choices, actions and subsequent results. I do not like making mistakes as a general rule, but I have learned to embrace the message contained in the murky waters of their arrival. The not liking used to turn into self-flagellation or blame or anger or any other manner of negative emotion. This response was completely immobilizing and did not help the situation in any way. Even if my mis-take affected another, I felt that so long as they could see that I too thought I was a complete idiot, I would be worthy of forgiveness. Genuine remorse and an apology are necessary but weeks of beating myself up – not so much! I eventually learned to see mistakes as an opportunity to get to know myself better and to learn how my thought processes and beliefs were contributing to the outcomes.

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” - Oscar Wilde

IF YOU DON’T MAKE MISTAKES, YOU DON’T MAKE ANYTHING

The first step is to understand that all people have felt the pang of regret or remorse due to making mistakes. Forgiving yourself or others, for that matter, is about acknowledging the past, all the while steering directly into the future. Acknowledging the past means understanding what factors led to the mistake. Why? Learning from the past prevents the repeating of mis-takes and encourages a sense of pride and confidence in who you are and your ability to handle your life. Many people never really face a mistake square on and ask it for its message. This type of introspection takes courage and is often avoided because it is easier to blame and resent. What feels easier in the moment is really the disempowerment of your potential and the decision to be a victim. When you own your mistakes, apologize for your mistakes and learn from your mistakes you are living intentionally and On Purpose.

THE TALE OF TWO MIS-TAKES

People tend to make two types of mis-takes: one is gathering faulty information or not enough information about a situation and the other originates from not understanding your own faulty thinking or unhealthy beliefs. In the first you make a hasty decision or think you have factored in all the information, however you forget to ask whether your new house is on an Indian burial ground or below a major flight path or you make the decision to revisit the banana clip or the MC Hammer pants. The second type is a result of unconscious beliefs or habitual patterns and can be more challenging to understand and address. But this is where a mis-take can be harnessed and squeezed for information. So, just like forgiving others is a decision, so too is forgiving yourself. It is the decision to accept responsibility, feel what you feel, apologize to others if appropriate, get support to release your frustration and most essentially, ask honest, tough questions to glean information from the mishap. What led to the outcome? What beliefs must you have been acting on to have created this outcome? What could you believe that would give you a better outcome? Empower yourself by owning your life; the missteps and mistakes.

Do not be afraid of making mistakes for this is how you learn. Do not be afraid of acknowledging your mistakes for this is how you develop character. Do not be afraid of facing your mistakes for this is how you grow.

Coaching is extremely helpful for helping to uncover the messages in mis-takes. Please contact me if you would like more information, onpurposelifecoaching@hotmail.com