Many times the problem is not knowing the problem. That’s right, we do not know what the real problem is. We are very capable of identifying the symptoms: tired, stressed, overweight, fighting with spouse, but we cannot clearly articulate or even define the true issue: poor boundaries, no structure, needs that aren't being met or outdated beliefs. Great problem solvers are very good at getting to the heart of the matter and understanding exactly what they need to solve and why.
The good news is that you can learn how to become an expert problem solver! Learn-able skills and subtle shifts in your approach can help you to hone in on the source, to create solutions and make choices that lead to the best outcome.
“If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.”
~ Albert Einstein
Here are 6 Steps to get you started:
1. YOU SAY TOMATO AND I SAY TOMATO
The words you use are hugely influential and will elicit different feelings and therefore different actions. How could I feel healthier and more alive, feels different than, how could I lose one-hundred pounds. One feels hopeful, the other feels daunting. Reword and try on different problem-solving phrases. The better, the more complete and instructional the question, the better, more complete and instructional the answer. Pull out your thesaurus and notice how different words allow your brain to relax and visualize, while other words cause stress or overwhelm. Words change the perception of the problem and therefore increase the possibility of solutions.
2. I ASSUMED SO
There are always an extensive amount of assumptions attached to every problem: it has always been done that way, so and so will never go for it or he or she doesn't like me. What if the assumption is inaccurate or just plain wrong? Think of every assumption, write them down and then test each one. Are they really valid? Are there other viewpoints? What is the result of hanging onto that assumption? Many times as you drop an assumption, options become obvious and the problem will solve itself.
3. MINIMIZE IT
You can also get specific and see the nuisances within the larger problem. The nuts and bolts. If each problem is part of a greater problem, then there are often many smaller problems involved. It can provide useful information to deconstruct it and will make it seem more manageable and less overwhelming. Sometimes as you solve the smaller problems, you automatically and often inadvertently, disable the larger challenge as well. A woman who came to see me, wanted to experience less stress and to feel happier in her day-to-day. She was trying to find a broad solution to a broad challenge. Instead I asked her if she could pinpoint what was causing her the most stress each day. What one activity, part of her routine or her environment was contributing the most to her stress? She said, "trying to keep up with our home, while caring for the kids and working part-time." I would say so! When we identified this one piece, she was able to brainstorm and felt capable of finding a solution to this challenge, rather than a solution to sleep deprivation, overwork, teething kids, commuting, making meals, spending time with her husband, and exercising! Trying to solve all of that was stressful itself. We came up with a plan for her to trade services, occasionally pay for, lower standards and so on as a way to handle her housecleaning issues and once implemented, she noticed that at least 75% of her day-to-day stress was reduced, time was freed and options for the other challenges easily presented themselves.
4. MAXIMIZE IT
At times a problem can seem so complicated, with so many moving parts and variables. Each piece can seem hefty and impossible and time consuming. You can ask yourself, what is going on behind the problem? What is the larger issue here? Find the big picture. Why does this matter? What is the outcome of solving it? This viewpoint can provide perspective and a variety of options for getting to the ultimate and larger goal. I had a couple come to me for coaching because they wanted help with their marriage, when I asked them what they each thought the problem was, they both began to list a myriad of smaller complaints and annoyances - essentially symptoms. I finally asked them, what is the one thing that if we fixed it today, would solve all those problems? They both responded with, winning the lottery! Granted that is not a solution I could really help them find! But, it pointed to the fact that money problems were weighing heavily on both of their minds. The majority of their stress was around their debt and their subsequent disagreements and differences in money management and essentially debt elimination. This problem was infecting every aspect of their lives and creating a plethora of other issues that were essentially masking this elephant in the room. Once they got support and worked on dealing with the money in their relationship, they felt empowered and connected and the other issues seemed to disappear.
5. DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?
Perspective is essential. Before rushing to solve a problem, always make sure you look at it from different perspectives. Many different perspectives. How would your spouse see it? A friend? A person who has lived 99 years? What will this look like to you in a year from now? Ten years from now? Take a helicopter view and look at it “from above”. What do you see? What is missing? Alternative perspectives offer alternative solutions and will open up a myriad of possibilities.
6. FLIP IT AND REVERSE IT
If you are trying to figure out how to get healthier, identify how to be unhealthier. If you want to feel more love. Ask yourself, how can I block or limit love? If you want to make more money, ask, how can I lose or make less money? The answer lies in opposition and clarity is found in identifying what will not work. Seem obvious? That is the point - finding the obvious, problem will lead to an obvious solution!
“A problem well put is half solved.” ~ John Dewey
Identifying the problem is often much harder than solving it, however if you take the time to evaluate, understand and excavate your problems you will often find the solution much easier to see and apply.
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