How to Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

What could happen if…

You stopped comparing?

We all do it and will probably continue to from time to time – the I wish I had, looked like, was as good as, smart as, talented as, thin as, fit as, pretty as, fun as and on it goes. It can be an endless parade of, if only I had that or was that, well look out, then I would be happier and so the story goes. There is a fine line between admiration and competition, appreciation and comparison and knowing the line can be a big ol’ relief and a big step on the path to personal freedom. What could happen if you stopped crossing the line?

You will focus on you. You will live your life. Your strengths, talents and skills often go underappreciated and undervalued as you are coveting that which you wish you were, rather than developing that which you are. Because no two people are exactly alike, even identical twins – you must stop comparing apples to oranges. It is uneven, unfair and ultimately unnecessary.

You will feel more connected to others. Comparisons will lead to resentments – why not me, why do they get to? This creates a state of competition and begrudgement and blocks your willingness to connect and create meaningful relationships.

You will live in the present. You will stop somedaying your life away; waiting for the moment when you have this or look like that or have achieved xyz in order to be fulfilled or satisfied. You will make choices in the present and will no longer waste time wondering, but will get down to the business of wielding.

“Comparison is the death of joy.” ~Mark Twain 

HOW:

APPRECIATE. Learn to give praise and genuinely recognize the contributions of others. See people for what they offer, rather than what you perceive they are taking from you. Another person’s success, skills, smarts or talents do not rob you of yours or make yours less valuable.

BE MOVED. Be inspired and motivated by a life well lived. Recognize that the very thing you covet in others is a signal to you that you want to grow or experience more or different or new in your life. You are not in competition with them, you are in admiration. Use it.Learn from it. Thank it. Let it lift and guide you, not limit and frustrate you. Be moved -  means just that - be moved to action.

CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESS. Take time to acknowledge risks you are taking, choices you have made, accomplishments you are proud of and areas where you have grown. Stop waiting to get there or to be perfect or to be as good as! You must give yourself credit and celebrate the steps you take each day.

GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS. Read the clues of your comparisons. When you are comparing, you are believing that someone else has the magic formula to the feelings you most wish you were experiencing. You do not have to wait or dramatically change every aspect of your life in order to feel joy, or calm or excited today. Find ways to promote these feelings now.

CREATE A LIFE OF VALUE. Understand what is really important to. What really matters to you? What do you value? Live your life orientated around these things. When you are living your life based on what is most significant to you, you will not be comparing yourself to others, but caring about others. You will not be jealous, but developing and growing with others. You will not be resentful, you will be relishing in their success and yours. You will be living your life On Purpose; intentionally creating the connection, contribution, community and quality that you desire. You will be living a life of No Comparison!